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kat6493	Having baby #2....need help breaking the news		Lead	[-]
Posts: 2 02/23/09 23:35:15	Tags : None SOO...i have a one and half year old little boy named Landen. I was just about to turn 19 when i found out i was pregnant w him...my mom was very very upset and mad at me about it. OF COURSE she got over it and he is her world. I am now 21 and just found out im about 6wks pregnant. Im happy...well were happy, but i dont know how to tell her. Im an adult i know that but she has bent over backwards to help me when i needed it and shes always been there for me i know shes going to be furious. To her im still a child and ever since i got pregnant the 1st time i just keep messing up in her eyes...but im so happy. I just dread telling her....i really do...........just dont know how to go about it....????????????
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Chaffy		#1	[url]	[-]
Posts: 4280 02/24/09 08:32:29	Hello and welcome to PH, Kat! Yeah, sounds like you have a tough problem there and I can understand why you'd be apprehensive. How are you handling your first baby? Are you out on your own and taking care of him yourself or are you living at home with help from mom? If you are at home, does this mean you will need more of her help with raising your children? To be honest, I don't think there's gonna be an easy way but just to do it. She may be upset at first, but like with your son, she will get used to the idea, eventually. I think the best approach would be a humble one and perhaps one with a plan. Let her know you have been thinking about practical things like how you are going to feed, clothe and provide for your children. Is the father helping out? Can you work an extra job to help support them? Sometimes just knowing that you have been researching these things can help a parent to see that you've matured. Good luck and please let us know how it goes!! Also be sure to join the expecting board of your choice below. Chaffy Wife to Steve since 1984 Mom to Kristi {21} Michael {18} and Anthony {14} My smoke free months!
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Niki		#2	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1269 02/24/09 09:38:45	First off I want to say CONGRATS!!!!! and I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months!!!!!!!!! Hi Kat.....well I'm on my 4th pregnancy and I have dreaded telling my mother every single time.....I'm 25 yrs. old and now live on my own but the first 3 times I was living with her! I feel the same way as you I had my 1st child when I was 15, I had my daughter Indica when I was 21 and my son Malekai when I was 23 and now this will be my last and I'm 25! So, I feel where your coming from!! I think in her eyes all I've done is mess up, my mom loves both of my kids to death and will this next little one too....I have also realized the longer I wait to tell her and the more people that know before her make it much more worse when I do finally tell her! I think it will be hard for you no matter what, but look at it this way she'll find out from you telling her, figure it out, or someone else that knows might slip up and tell her which way do you think she'll take better???? I would assume the you telling her one! But I don't know your mom....Anyway this prolly wasn't much help for you but I just wanted to share my opinions! I look forward to seeing you on here more and getting to know you!!! Niki.... Mama to Indica and Malekai!!!!
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Shamrock		#3	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2135 02/24/09 13:46:24	Kat, welcome to parenthood.com! Congratulations on your pregnancy. :-) Before telling your mother the news, I'd have some questions to ask first, as far as where you stand now. 1.) Do you have a full time job and are you completely self-supporting on your own outside of the home? 2.) Is your education as finished as you would like it to be? 3.) Regardless of your parents' dreams for you, is your life headed toward the pursuit of your genuine dreams? Sure you aren't just settling for what you've got and calling yourself "happy" about it? 4.) Do you have the same father for both children and are you married or in a stable relationship together in which he handles half of the parenting responsibilities? 5.) Is your mother's help only occasional? 6.) Did you actually experience any difficulty as far as raising that first kiddo so young, or did your mom shoulder the responsibility and buffer you from it? 7.) Are you prepared to take the full responsibility for another baby into it's adulthood? I hope you are feeling well. :-) "The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn." - Alvin Toffler
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debmom6	Welcome!	#4	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1271 02/25/09 11:53:33	Welcome and Congrats! I think your anxiety is normal and I know that I certainly experienced some of it. I had my first child at 20. Mom was okay...I was getting married a week after I found out anyways and I'm sure that helped....my mom actually gave me crap about #'s 5 and 6 even though my husband and I were fully supporting all of them ourselves [not to mention helping with activities for my younger sisters] -- but once I just told her -- and gave her time to adjust -- she did well. If you are REALLY nervous, you could send her card in the mail and let her contact you when she is ready. that way you don't have to judge what emotions are coming across her face. I hope that you continue to be a part of PH. If nothing else, the ladies here will offer emotional support to you. Some of the ladies have touched on this already, but each person is different as to their maturity level and how they can handle it. Yes, I was a young mother. I was a young mother of many. lol. but I did it. I had lots of rude looks and offensive comments. Let it roll off you. So...keep your chin up if this is something you really want. Deborah, 37 Wife to: Jim, 43 Mom to: Joshua, 16; Justin, 15; Brittany, 14; Keira, 11; Jared, 7; Trooper, 4 God continues to bless each and every day! Last Edited By: debmom6 02/25/09 12:16:36. Edited 1 time.
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kat6493		#5	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2 02/25/09 21:34:17	well...we'll see i know i shouldnt wait but i think its prob whats best since were not getting along too well at the moment. I do support landen on my own...if she helps its because she wants to not because i need her to. I work full time...have my own house im thinking about buying...welll my boyfriend s2b fiance anyways...he has a full time job as well. he also has a child, a 2yr old daughter. She raised 3 kids by herself and i think that she is just afraid of me ending up that way. I left landens father when he was 2 weeks old...he is still too immature to take responsibility for his actions but who im with now has been there since landen was practically born and has stepped in his place. things are going to be hard, but were happy. i just wish she would feel the same. in her eyes im still the baby she doesnt want me married or having babies...i ruined her vision of my life and shes been on me ever since
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Shamrock		#6	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2135 03/10/09 12:17:41	Raquel welcome to parenthood.com. You are 14 and your parents have been begging you to conceive? Something is not right there. It is illegal for a child of 14 to have sex. In most places. How old is the father of your baby? I want you to be sure that I am not trying to criticize you but am trying to help you. 14 year old sex is illegal for very good reasons, all of which are on your side. Are you still in school, etc.? "The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn." - Alvin Toffler
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Having baby #2....need help breaking the news	02/23/09 23:35:15	kat6493
Re: Having baby #2....need help breaking the news	02/24/09 08:32:29	Chaffy
Re: Having baby #2....need help breaking the news	02/24/09 09:38:45	Niki
Re: Having baby #2....need help breaking the news	02/24/09 13:46:24	Shamrock
Welcome!	02/25/09 11:53:33	debmom6
Re: Having baby #2....need help breaking the news	02/25/09 21:34:17	kat6493
Re: Having baby #2....need help breaking the news	03/10/09 12:17:41	Shamrock