By Larissa Phillips

My early memories of Thanksgiving preparations involve a felt-tip pen and a stack of place cards. No sooner had we arrived at my grandmother’s house than she would put my sister and me to work: polishing silverware, folding napkins and taking care of our most important job: designing the place cards. With a few pens, some folded card stock, and a pad with 20 or so names scrawled  on it, we’d set to work, using our fanciest script to write names and draw illustrations.

Looking back, I know my grandmother really did love place cards. She came from a fancier era, and was always a stellar party hostess. But she also had a knack for getting people involved, especially children.

I look to her example when I plan my own Thanksgivings. It’s not just about the food. Thanksgiving is a coming-together holiday, one of the only nights that family dinner is celebrated on a grand scale across the country. So while I want my turkey to have a crisp golden skin and my pie crust to be flaky and irresistible, the food is only one part of it. I also want a harmonious meal, and I want my children to feel like they are part of it.

This means asking for help in an appropriate way. Toddlers can’t contribute a side dish, but they can help gather pine cones or pretty leaves to create a lovely centerpiece, or help mash potatoes and seal pie crusts; and preschoolers and up often love to make the holiday table beautiful.

When it comes to food, it means making small concessions. Most traditional Thanksgiving foods are not everyday fare for kids. Cranberry sauce? Stuffing? Gravy?

The last thing a tired hostess (or guest) wants to do is battle with picky eaters. I always make sure to include a few things on the table that I know children will eat. In my family this has meant making (or bringing) a dish of roasted potatoes instead of mashed, a platter of favorite raw vegetables and perhaps ice cream with the pie. I stay within the Thanksgiving theme, and accept that the third Thursday in November is not the day that we will put an end to picky eating. And, when all else fails, we get out the felt-tip pens and make place cards!

Happy Thanksgiving!

More Feeding Your Family for November 2008